DEATH-MATCH Need logline/synopsis feedback please

[leebo23]

Hi Fellow Writers,

I have recently completed an action thriller screenplay entitled "DEATH-MATCH" and would love to hear your feedback on the logline and synopsis. Any constructive comments would be greatly appreciated. Also, if you'd like to read the script, I'd be happy to email it to you.

Thanks a million,

Leebo23

LOGLINE:

An ex-mercenary must stop a maniacal CEO from using his DNA to create a futuristic gladiator game designed to enslave every mind on the planet.

It's The MATRIX meets UNIVERSAL SOLDIER!

SYNOPSIS:

In the near-future, a massive sports gaming conglomerate is killing the world's elite fighters and resurrecting them to battle as mind-linked cyborgs in an addictive live-action gladiator game called: "DEATH-MATCH". When an ex-mercenary wakes from a coma with amnesia, he learns from a captive scientist that he is a new prototype warrior for the ultra-violent game, and the only means of escape is to fight for his life, destroy the game and take down the maniacal CEO hell-bent on using "DEATH-MATCH" to enslave the minds of millions.

[screenwriter]

Both sound good. Just make the synopsis at least 3 paragraphs.

[leebo23]

Thanks for the feedback, Screenwriter. The above synopsis is just a short version.

Here is the 3 paragraph synopsis:

In the year 2025, ex-mercenary Mason Gunner wakes from a coma with amnesia and finds himself turned into a drug addicted cyborg forced to compete on the brutally lucrative Pit-Fighting circuit to stay alive. As he fights his way toward the world championship, Gunner learns from captive scientist, Dr. Milton Fienes, that he is part of a sinister plot by the sports gaming conglomerate CyborTek to launch a vastly more profitable sport called: “DEATH-MATCH.”

Reluctantly created by Fienes as a mass mind-altering gladiator game for CyborTek CEO Tiberius Foster, “DEATH-MATCH” will allow players to safely transfer their minds into the resurrected bodies of Pit-Fighters killed in battle and fight opponents in spectacular slugfests to the death. Players literally become their enhanced cyborg fighter, thus elevating combat to a dangerously addictive level of reality never before experienced.

Caught in a web of deception, Gunner, with the unlikely aid of Fienes, must fight to regain his life, destroy “DEATH-MATCH” and stop Foster from enslaving the minds of millions for profit.

[screenwriter]

Sounds good!

[leebo23]

Thanks Screenwriter, I really appreciate it.